In the case of long term relationships it is natural that sexual desire and arousal decreases. In fact the decrease of sexual desire is one of the main reasons why some couples look for professional advice in pursuit of a sexual therapy. Medical experts say that men perceive their difficulties as physical problems, as something that can be fixed with special medication while women tend highlight out the emotional side quality of the relationship.
There are many factors that can decrease sexual desire; among them are stress, fatigue, breastfeeding periods, hormonal unbalances, medical problems like diabetes or hypertension, relationship conflicts, presence of children, and concerns about money, contraception or work. The most important sexual organ is the brain; sexual desire is more related to what happens on the mind.
Experts on sexual therapy claim that the first step is discard any possible physical cause for the decrement of sexual desire and discard the effect produced by some medicines employed for treatments. Once these possible sources are discarded and if you feel you are in a relationship with an adequate person, most of the times the source for the problem seems to be excess of routine or mental blocks that hinder the couple's sex life, if the couple makes an effort to detect them and to change them, the problem will be happily solved.
Normally, the feelings related to the relationship and to sexual relations are explored. The next step for the couple would be to receive professional help in order to recover sensibility throughout a series of progressive exercises on which both members will learn to give and receive sexual pleasure, as well as forget the routine of the brief and unsatisfactory sexual intercourse.
It is very common to feel confusion with the idea of visiting a sexual therapist and share intimate problems with a professional which in other words is a strange person for the couple. But it is helpful to consider that this kind of professionals are familiar with the problems that affect every couple, therefore they are the most indicated to guide to the couple to a proper solution.
Here are some advises that a couple could try to start the enhancement of their sexual life:
- Establishing a date. The most common for a couple is to leave sexual relations for the end of the day when both members are very tired after all the daily activities. A good solution to break the routine is to establish a date to have sex without restrictions or time pressures. Forget about schedules and if you have children, send them for a trip. You can also plan a “crazy weekend” far away from home and the concerns related to it;
- Leave aside problems and concerns. Forget about all kinds of tension and concerns, since the most important sexual organ is your brain. Forget about resentment, suspicion or anger toward your partner since they are a secure path to cool a warm bed.